Or - A tale of Two Princes, A Princess, A Frog, A Toad,
One or Two Medium Sized Dragons and a Terrible Truth...
Prologue
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Somewhere along the notorious rim of the galaxy, within a notorious
time-warp, lies a notorious planet known as "Been-There-Done-That
Prime".
This planet has a problem. Because of the time warp, whenever one tries
to do something that they have never done before - one would do it quite
well, because they've already done it in the past, and so on, and so forth.
This, of course, creates a greater problem - if anybody accuses anybody
else of anything - they would state that they have done it, and add quite
an exquisite, detailed description.
As this phenomenon causes many, even more complex problems in the penal
system, all people native to this planet are lawyers - prisons were not
effective, because everybody had a prison break in their history.
This is, of course, impossible, as all lawyers of all cultures were tossed
into deep space through a large collective airlock, back in the times
of the great awakening of 4 PO (Post-Office, a new time standard. The
first year of it, numbered 0 PO, begun exactly when the last postal worker
has been murdered - through means of bureaucracy - by lawyers).
However, since all the natives of Been-There-Done-That-Prime have survived
being thrown into deep space, the planet is not as dead as it should be.
The ultimate result of all this is that if anybody woke up in the morning
and found their garden in just the wrong shade of orange - the entire
planet was guilty as charged.
As this time-paradox creates (as mentioned above) a whole chain of problems, an outsider visiting the planet would probably go "nuts".
"The Guide of Psychological Greenery" of the Knowledge Plant
(A university which, quite surprisingly, is entirely carved inside a huge
mega-sequoia tree) defines "Nuts" as "Small fruits which
are insane and are usually eaten by squirrels, who are also insane, because
their forefathers came from the planet of Abarbanel IV - a planet where
nuts are packed inside huge briefcases known as 'Nut-Cases'.
By eating nuts, The squirrels have the benefit of becoming temporarily
sane. This is accounted for by simple arithmetic.
Consider, for a while, the nuts and the squirrels as a "-" symbolizing insanity. By combining (thus - the squirrels eat the nuts), two "-" form a "+", symbolizing sanity.
Sadly, a squirrel must eat nuts every ten minutes or so to maintain sanity, or else, it goes totally cuckoo. And since mammals and birds are both vertebrates, a forest full of squirrels might just become full of cuckoo birds when its supply of nuts runs too low."
Some people say that this entirely insane time-paradox is caused by a
cuckoo clock, somewhere deep in the heart of the planet.
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